Fiddling in Memory
January 1, 2023
It’s the new year, and time to leave 2022 behind. The year wasn’t a bad one as far as things go throughout – it was only at the end that things really became tough for my family and I.
On December 18, 2022, I lost my father. It’s not something I’ve really come to terms with yet emotionally. When it comes to grief and dealing with grief of this magnitude, I don’t really know how to respond. I’m dealing with it in my own ways, I guess.
I don’t want to make this post all about that, even though it is.
2022 was the year I really fell off the wagon when it came to fiddle practice. I’m not even sure why. I was doing well enough in the early part of the year, and then suddenly, I just had no motivation to practice at all.
I’d already told myself that I wanted to get back into the habit of practice come 2023. Now, I have something else to nudge me to stick to it – the memory of my dad.
He wasn’t a fiddle player. He didn’t play music at all, in fact. He did love music, though, and he once told me his two favorite instruments were piano and violin.
I’d pondered picking him up some music – like maybe the Piano Guys. I always thought he might like it, but I never introduced him to that. I kinda regret that – a silly little thing, I know.
I did show him my fiddle a few years back, and he responded with interest and curiosity to the fact that I was trying to learn it. I think he liked the idea I was playing, though I never played anything for him. I never had the courage or confidence to play for anyone. I kinda regret that now, too.
I’m moving into the new year with new determination to pick up the fiddle again, though it will be a challenge. I want to stick with it this time – I did miss playing fiddle when I wasn’t playing – but I also want to be gentle about my consistency.
I’m going to have to work back up to where I was when I dropped off last year, which I’m aware of. I’ve taken a different direction to begin with, practicing from a new book - The Ultimate Songbook for Beginner Violinists – something I picked up last year but never got into. I think having a new set of simple music will help me ease back into practice again.
I still find myself at a loss as to what to write about on this blog, however. I chose to hang on to the domain name for another year, and I’d like to make it an outlet for… something. I just don’t know what yet.
I have a lot of introspection to work through for a lot of different things, I think. I suppose I’ll see where 2023 takes me.