FFXIV: Tales from the Duty Finder – Netflix Ninja

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This story happened a few weeks back, before Tales from the Duty Finder was becoming a thing on this blog. So I didn’t get any screenshots, though I wish I had. Still, this one particular ninja is one I can’t forget. I think he’s earned a place in this blog series.

Place: Leveling Roulette – Temple of Quarn

Time: Late Afternoon

So FC folks decided to do a leveling roulette. It was Zeb as a tank, Zuri as a Monk and Amoon on heals. We were short a DPS, but that’s not usually such a big deal. We hit up the Duty Finder.

Well, the Duty Finder gave us a ninja. That was fine.

Except, this ninja was behaving oddly. He’d lag behind the party and just stand there while we moved from group to group. He took no care with which targets I was attacking (when he did finally attack), making the DPS scattered across many mobs. Syn later noted that he was mostly just pressing “1” over and over again, doing the same move, and not bothering with combos.

When we got to the first boss, he ripped the limit break the second it popped with the most annoying huge block of text and sound effect macro attached to it, mostly congratulating himself for hitting the limit break button.

This was fine, though annoying. We were getting by, despite his lack of DPS.

When we got to the second boss, I was determined to swipe the limit break from him because man… that macro was annoying. So I anticipated and popped it the second it came up. What did he do? Start hammering his macro over and over and over again – either out of disbelief that the limit break was stolen, or because he didn’t realize it’d already gone off.

Somewhere between the second boss and the last, he finally speaks up.

“Zuri Nimat, you want LB?”

I was a little puzzled, but I replied I could do it.

“Good, that’s one less thing for me to worry about,” He said. Then he added, “I’m watching Netflix lol!” 

I about fell over right there. That explained a whole lot.

Anyhow, the last boss, Adjudicator, was a nightmare. It’s as if admitting that he was watching Netflix meant that he could perform even worse. He stayed on the boss the whole time, never moved once as the adds popped everywhere. Being a monk, I’m not the most agile in moving between mobs, so I was frantically killing things that were shooting lasers of death. I hardly had time to touch the boss.

For those not familiar, this fight relies on DPS to do most the mechanics. Here’s a sample video below (not my video, language warning):

In the meantime, he doesn’t move. And he also doesn’t pop the Limit Break despite the fact I’m running all over to keep the little laser shooting verges from filling the room with doom.

We got the boss down, but there’s a certain Netflix Ninja who didn’t earn a single commendation from my FC group. And he gets this nifty post written about him! Congrats, guy! 😀

14 responses to “FFXIV: Tales from the Duty Finder – Netflix Ninja”

    • Actually, things have improved a lot since we can now roulette everything with the FC. It’s been a huge positive change in daily leveling dungeons!

      These are just outliers, and not usually the norm. Thankfully.


        • Usually in the evening after 6PM EST. We’ve had a pretty big jump in activity and log-ins since the last patch. A good deal of new folks and returning folks, too.


        • I’ve had my fair share of situations like these, and I think the most common response in our guild was to simply claim we ran the dungeon with less than a full party because we wanted a bit more challenge. 😉

          Though when it comes to slackers in the party, you could do worse than a DPS.


  1. As someone who jumped from fists to knives when Rogue/Ninja came out (Monk>Ninja), I can assure you that ninjas aren’t all this guy… even if we are/were practically the second coming of lolDRG, depending on when and whom you ask.

    To be fair, and I hate to admit this as a DPS, but we’re a dime a dozen. I would have attempted a vote kick on him for something like trolling or offline the second he admitted to watching netflix while being in the dungeon.


    • Oh, there’s a number of FC folks who play Ninja well, so I have nothing against the class. I leveled a Ninja to 50 the first week it came out, but haven’t really done anything beyond that since – got distracted with other classes.

      We probably should have kicked the guy, but that’s not usually something we instantly think to do. I think at the point we learned the truth, we just wanted the dungeon done. XD


  2. I just don’t understand how leople think that they can split attention between 2 activites, esepcially when 1 is a game requiring full attention, and the other is a story being told that also requires fullfull attention and…..howndo you split that without a)bsucking at the game and b) missing most of the show?


    • I don’t get it, either. It’s extremely rude to the other people in your party, especially a Duty Finder with three strangers.

      Crafting or gathering, yes, I can understand Netflix. Running a dungeon, even for leveling roulette? No.


  3. TIL you can roulette with a group of FC folks! This will make getting them in SO. MUCH. MORE. WORTH. IT. I love all these Duty Finder tales. Please keep writing them when you run into them! I’d have had so many salty things to say about the ninja if I were with my group, lol.


    • You can roulette with FC folks right now. That was patched in back in 3.2, and has made it sooo much nicer! 🙂

      I will totally keep writing these as they happen – just have to remember to screen shot them better! Sometimes the badness takes me by surprise and I can’t even respond right. XD


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