FFXIV: Tales from the Duty Finder – Netflix Ninja

This story happened a few weeks back, before Tales from the Duty Finder was becoming a thing on this blog. So I didn’t get any screenshots, though I wish I had. Still, this one particular ninja is one I can’t forget. I think he’s earned a place in this blog series.

Place: Leveling Roulette – Temple of Quarn

Time: Late Afternoon

So FC folks decided to do a leveling roulette. It was Zeb as a tank, Zuri as a Monk and Amoon on heals. We were short a DPS, but that’s not usually such a big deal. We hit up the Duty Finder.

Well, the Duty Finder gave us a ninja. That was fine.

Except, this ninja was behaving oddly. He’d lag behind the party and just stand there while we moved from group to group. He took no care with which targets I was attacking (when he did finally attack), making the DPS scattered across many mobs. Syn later noted that he was mostly just pressing “1” over and over again, doing the same move, and not bothering with combos.

When we got to the first boss, he ripped the limit break the second it popped with the most annoying huge block of text and sound effect macro attached to it, mostly congratulating himself for hitting the limit break button.

This was fine, though annoying. We were getting by, despite his lack of DPS.

When we got to the second boss, I was determined to swipe the limit break from him because man… that macro was annoying. So I anticipated and popped it the second it came up. What did he do? Start hammering his macro over and over and over again – either out of disbelief that the limit break was stolen, or because he didn’t realize it’d already gone off.

Somewhere between the second boss and the last, he finally speaks up.

“Zuri Nimat, you want LB?”

I was a little puzzled, but I replied I could do it.

“Good, that’s one less thing for me to worry about,” He said. Then he added, “I’m watching Netflix lol!” 

I about fell over right there. That explained a whole lot.

Anyhow, the last boss, Adjudicator, was a nightmare. It’s as if admitting that he was watching Netflix meant that he could perform even worse. He stayed on the boss the whole time, never moved once as the adds popped everywhere. Being a monk, I’m not the most agile in moving between mobs, so I was frantically killing things that were shooting lasers of death. I hardly had time to touch the boss.

For those not familiar, this fight relies on DPS to do most the mechanics. Here’s a sample video below (not my video, language warning):

In the meantime, he doesn’t move. And he also doesn’t pop the Limit Break despite the fact I’m running all over to keep the little laser shooting verges from filling the room with doom.

We got the boss down, but there’s a certain Netflix Ninja who didn’t earn a single commendation from my FC group. And he gets this nifty post written about him! Congrats, guy! 😀