FFXIV: Tales from the Duty Finder: Ascian in MY Expert? It’s more likely than you think!

Oh my. I didn’t expect to have one of these to write during Blaugust. But I suppose when you’re out there running content with other folks, it happens sometimes.

For those not initiated, “Tales from the Duty Finder” (A name I borrowed from a forum thread with the same concept) is where I record runs with truly strange, funny or downright bad PUG individuals. Most of the time, we have decent/good experiences with the Duty Finder. Sometimes… not.

Yesterday in Expert, we did not.

Our FC brought the two DPS and the Heals, so we only needed a DF tank. The first sign that things were going to be interesting was zoning in to see the tank had an Ascian name. And then, he proceeds to macro monologues to the party as we move into the dungeon.

At first I thought this was slightly amusing. So I was screenshotting it just to write about how weird and quirky this player was.

The first pull was a bit odd… because he began dragging it back in a way I’d never seen tanks do before. The dungeon was made in a way that the doors to the next area wouldn’t open until the enemies were dead, gating the pull, but he yanked right up to the door as if he’d had gone through if they did open.

This should have been a warning to us.

More monologue happens before the boss. At this point, it’s still weird and amusing.

What wasn’t amusing was the fact he sprinted into the boss fight and pulled before the rest of us were even there. He’d been sprinting before that, too, but it was in a confined area, and we were able to keep up.

It was during the mechanics of the first boss things started to take a nosedive. Syn said that the guy seemed overall a competent tank, but he obviously took no care with where he positioned things or for protecting his party.

We were a bit over halfway through the first boss fight when he pulled the boss back into the area where the ranged DPS were standing (for no reason!) and turned the boss on us in such a way that both Syn and I got hit with a cleave, and died instantly. The only two people who could rez in the party. So that was our first wipe.

Ok… I thought. That was a fluke and just bad positioning, though completely avoidable, and I’d never seen any tank move the boss into that position before. Slightly miffed, we went back into the boss fight.

But not without a bit of commentary from the party…

Syn was gently trying to tell the tank that he needed to slow it down a bit. All during this dungeon, the tank said not a single word other than the macroed monologue. It was… really peculiar.

So the second time, the tank pulls the boss to the other side of the platform into the rest of the party for no reason… AGAIN. We were ready for it this time, moved to the other side of the platform, and we cleared the fight with no further issues.

After the fall of this boss, more RP monologue.

At this point, it had lost its charm. Especially since in more open areas, he really started putting on a show. The second boss was okay, but trash pulls were awful. He SPRINTED ahead of the party, gathering as much as he could wall to wall, to the point that Syn was struggling and our AOE DPS was working as hard as we could to keep up.

Big pulls are one thing. But this guy was running way ahead of his party, dragging everything with us, out of range of heals and DPS constantly. Finally, Syn tries to say something about it in a nice way.

At the 19:14 point, he was pulling huge hallways before the final boss, so far ahead of the party it was ridiculous. I was completely done with him, and told Syn point blank, he didn’t deserve to finish this dungeon after how poor a team player he’d been that whole time.

Not a word to the party. Nothing but spouting RP and racing ahead even when the healer is asking you not to. He was also not rolling on any loot, because you can’t vote kick someone when there’s a loot roll going on.

So I encouraged Syn to let him wipe on the last hallway before the final boss. He’d pulled so much we may have wiped anyhow. Since the three of us were in the FC, I communicated.

And that’s what we did.

I revived back at the start, sat my butt down, and we waited the 30 seconds on the loot drops to time out. Then we kicked his Ascian butt out of the Tower.

It was only a few seconds later we got a replacement tank, who was sympathetic, chatty, and finished the dungeon off for us with no issue. He also got the Orchestrion drop at the end of the run for his help. Thanks guy!

Afterwards, we laughed it off in FC chat the way you do on a RP server.

I guess we’ll never hear how that monologue was meant to end. I can’t say that I’m sad about that, though.