RIP Sebastian, My Friend

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Sebastian has been a part of my family for 8 years. He was a special cat – super social, very dog-like in his desire to please, constantly craving attention and affection, vocal and friendly. I’ve never met a cat quite like him, and I don’t know if I ever will again.

I took him to the vet last week due to lack of appetite and the fact he was lethargic and had been sneezing through the weekend. They said he was running a fever, checked him for anything else, and sent him home with antibiotics.

These seem to improve his disposition for a few days, but then on Monday of this week, he started losing appetite again. I knew my vet was open until noon on Saturdays, so I called and they brought him right in this morning.

At first, I thought this was going to be a blood test and possibly something treatable with the liver. But when the vet examined him this time, she found a mass in his stomach and also ordered an X-ray.

The X-ray revealed a cancerous tumor in his stomach. They showed me the results and it was almost as large as my fist. He wasn’t eating because he couldn’t… and I was given the choice to take him home with appetite simulators (so I could “spend time with him”) or say goodbye.

I took this picture of him in the vet’s office, joking that he was “unhappy” to have another visit. I never imagined it was his last picture or that I was going to learn something so serious.

Though he didn’t seem to be in terrible pain, I was warned the tumor could rupture, which would be horrible pain for the cat. And while having more time with him was an option, I knew that it would just be a lengthening of a tearful situation that was meant to comfort me… not to see to the good of the cat.

No matter what I did, it didn’t escape the fact there was nothing to treat this. Whether it be today or next week, I’d have to put him down. The thought of that lingering sorrow and anxiety for days was (to me) worse than simply making a clean good-bye.

So spoiled with PILES of toys

And though my words here are somewhat making light of it, it hurts more than I can really express in writing. Sebastian was an empathetic cat, in tune with emotion and truly loved people in a special way.

I decided it was best not to delay what I couldn’t change and said good-bye to him at the vet’s office today. They allowed me to be there, and he peacefully passed away mere seconds after the injection.

I know it was the right thing to do – even the vet said that it would be her choice – but I have a lot of grief to work through. His loving presecnce at the window when I come home from work every day and first thing in the morning at the bedroom door, and how much he loved to share laps for hours… the way he “talked” to ask me for things, and just his companionship overall… I know I’m going to miss that for a long time.

I hope the Rainbow Bridge does something nice for the Holidays, Sebastian.

15 responses to “RIP Sebastian, My Friend”

    • Thank you. I’ve had to put down small animals (rats) in the past, but this is the first time I’ve had to put down a cat. I think the suddenness of the development was the hard part. I was absolutely stunned when the vet said he had an inoperable tumor. If I’d known the situation, I would have spent so much more time with him in those last days.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I am sorry for your loss. I know how tough a decision it was to make and how much it hurts. The most important thing to remember though was that Sebastian could be with you until the end and feel all your love. I’m sure it was a great comfort for him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. The vet was kind enough to give me the option of sitting with him, and it was a bit of a comfort to know that it was quick, painless and peaceful. The whole vet office were extremely loving and kind about the situation, and that helped a lot.


  2. Aw, I’m so sorry for your loss, what a lovely Kitty. They live such short lives, we lost a ferret this year, he was old and had a long life but it was still hard. I still think I hear him pattering around the house sometimes and realize he’s gone. Sebastian seemed to have a wonderful Life with you, sometimes the hardest choices are what’s best even though they hurt the most.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry – my pets are family members and I enjoy all the time I have with them. Hope you enjoy the memories especially this holiday season of time spent and love shared.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello Aywren
    I just read your post after falling on your blog for something else, and I hear your pain. I had a cat, my baby, who was like yours. Bably, affectuous, full of empathy, noisy and annoying too. He was 18 yo, and passed away last year, the 22th of december. He had a tumor in his esophagus, and despite the terrible pain of kids and mine, I decided to shortcut his own pain. I was a terrible experience, as he was my first baby, before I actually birth mine owns.
    In a sense, thank you for sharing this. Maybe it helped you to externalize the sorrow. I am pretty sure it touched many like me, reviving some memories, because that’s what stays after all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m very sorry for your loss, as well. Hopefully you (and I) can hold on to the good memories we have. I doubt our pets would want to see us sad! Take comfort that you gave him the best life you could. That’s what I try to do, too.


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